This Weeks Intention: Resilience - How's your Sleep?

Welcome to a SLEEP edition of The Mindful Queer’s Newsletter Club!

Before we dive into all the goodies of sleep. I wanted to update you on Wellness & Wellbeing IRL, Episode 2: Talking About Body will be out Wednesday 2/8! Be sure to tune in! It’s a jam packed episode on rethinking how we look at our bodies, body image issues, and how to love our capable and strong bodies.

This week, we are focusing on the importance of sleep and how developing a sleep ritual can help improve the quality of your rest.

Sleep is a crucial component of our overall health and well-being, and the right sleep routine can set the tone for a more relaxed and rejuvenated day.

In this newsletter, we will explore the benefits of sleep, the science behind sleep patterns, and offer practical tips on how to create a sleep ritual to promote deep and restful sleep.

So, take a deep breath, relax, and let's dive into the world of sleep and mindfulness.

“You’ll feel better after a good night’s sleep.”

That’s what you tell a friend after a breakup. (Right after you say: “I never liked that loser anyway.”)

But it’s also true.

That’s because the restorative benefit of a good night’s sleep does indeed make you feel better. In fact, it helps you:

✅ Make better food choices
✅ Have more physical and mental energy for exercise and work
✅ More effectively manage your stress and emotions

(Just for starters.)

And in turn, each of those factors can contribute to better sleep.

So instead of a vicious cycle that makes life harder, adequate shuteye sparks a virtuous cycle that makes life better.

There’s a big problem, though.

Many folks struggle with sleep.

They say they’re always tired no matter what they do. Plus, they’ve tried everything—gravity blankets, sleep trackers, supplements—and nothing helps. (“NOTHING!”)

There’s no one single fix for all poor sleepers, but the place many people should start is with their sleep schedule.

While that might sound obvious, if you haven’t been very intentional about this, you could find it very helpful.

The first step:

Figure out how many hours of sleep you personally need. That’d generally be the amount that allows you to wake up without an alarm clock feeling well rested.

If you’re not sure about that amount, you could start with 7-8 hours.

Now count backward from the time you want to wake up. That’s your bedtime, and yes, it’s THAT simple (to calculate).

You’ll want to stick to this schedule as much as you can, including on the weekends.

That’s because after a good night’s sleep, most people need to be awake around 16 hours before they feel sleepy. So if you get up later than usual, you’re going to struggle to go to bed at your scheduled time.

(BTW, this advice comes directly from Dr. Jennifer Martin, President of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine.)

Fair warning…

This may come with tradeoffs you don’t like—such as going to bed earlier and not sleeping in on your days off.

But it’s been known to work wonders for people.

Of course, if it’s a monumental change to what you’re currently doing, it may feel impossible to make it work.

So instead of going straight to “ideal,” start with doable.

Create a sleep schedule you think you can stick to 6 out of 7 nights a week, and put it to this test: On a scale of 0 (no way!) to 10 (so easy it’s laughable), rank your confidence you’ll follow through—and only proceed when you get to a 9 or 10.

Do that for at least two weeks, and if you have success, try to improve on it over time. And if you don’t, scale back and try again.

Sweet dreams!

Practice #2: Create and use a Pre-Sleep Ritual

Pillar: Resiliency

Skill: Promote Deep Sleep

Practices to Try:

• Set an alarm an hour before bedtime to wind down

• Practice calming mental imagery

• Spend 5 minutes doing a brain dump

• Read a book

• Take a hot shower before bed

• Stretch your back and hips

• Do a progressive muscle relaxation meditation

Why? 

Develop a pre-bedtime set of sleep-promoting behaviors

Try to develop a list of 3 or less steps to complete before bed. Test different combinations to find what works for you

Your body will have an easier time getting to sleep if you do the same routine every night so it knows what’s coming.

How to do it better?

💤 No screens 30 minutes before bed - blue light from screens can distrust your circadian rhythm

When developing a bedtime ritual… Your body will have an easier time getting to sleep if you do the same things every night so it knows what’s coming. Developing a consistent bedtime ritual creates moments of separation between day and night and lets your body know that it’s time to sleep, according to Whoop, one of the leading fitness & health tracking wearables.

Calculate your bedtime by subtracting your # of hours you want per night from the time of your alarm

Alarm: 7 Am (-) #’s of sleep: 8 hours = Be asleep by 11 Pm

wind down process = 10:00/10:30 Pm

Remember: If you want 8 hours of sleep you, you should be asleep by your bedtime. So make sure you make adjustments to your schedule when calculating.

Coaching IRL Notes:

-Use some sort of tracker when putting focus to your sleep, whether it's a simple journal or you use your fitness wearable (I use my Whoop, it makes adjustments based on what time I need to wake up & how active I was in the day for recovery. You can use my link for a free month!)

-Try not to make huge jumps in your sleep schedule. Unfortunately when you get tired is dictated on a multitude of factors. But one thing outside of your control is your circadian rhythm. By making small (15 min) incremental adjustments over a week or two you can get to your goal bedtime

-Be real with yourself. I get it, you are a busy person. You have a social life, you have other priorities, maybe you still have work to catch up on, or a hobby that you only have time for in the evenings.

Your sleep schedule will not be perfect all the time. Would things be better if you did, probably. But what fun is that, you got an entire lifetime to figure it out!

Ultimately, it’s what you want out of your life. Sometimes you need to sit your ass down and go to sleep at 10:30 because #healthreasons and other nights you are partying it up till the sun comes up.

It’s called balance
(but take care of yourself extra on those all nighters ☺️)

(If you want to try Practice #1: 5 minute Action, to easiest and quickest way to building actionable habits in your life, check it out!)

Give it a try! Track your progress, journal your thoughts, and let the magic happen!

That wraps up the Mindful Queer Newsletter for this week!

New Episode of Wellness & Wellbeing IRL comes out Wednesday 2/8! Make sure you are following me! I am on all major podcasting platforms & YouTube if you prefer to watch (@themindfulqueer)

Hope you have a restful week!

John Kim (They/Them)
THE MINDFUL QUEER

What you'll find on my Youtube Channel?

• Live recordings of each podcast episode

• Ask the Mindful Queer - a segment for queer folks on ways to improve their lives through fitness, mindfulness and wellbeing

• Various topics on nutrition, sleep, stress, and mindset