This Week's Intentions: Confidence - How to Add Confidence in your life.

Welcome to your weekly digest of the Mindful Queer’s Wellness Club!

Happy 10th Edition Mindful Queers!

It’s Monday, April 10, 2023,

If you've been following along, we've officially made it to 10 weekly intentions at the Wellness Club!

🥳😎

If you have ADHD or know someone who does, you know that 10 of anything is a big deal.

And if you aren't proud we're still here, I definitely am.

Through a wreck of a couple months, a breakup, a move, an existential crisis (aka a mental breakdown) I am still alive (idk about well) but alive.

I've been giving myself time, space, extra love to get through these really tough moments in my life.

There was a moment in late February, I didn't think I could continue writing these.

But by allowing myself to take a couple weeks off, then forcing myself to write again really sparked a fire of change.

It helped me get back into doing things again - for myself, and my business.

There was a two week moment after the breakup and shortly after the move where I was stressed beyond belief.

In a recent IG post, I posted my post 6 week breakup progress update, check it out here

I talked about stress, and how it makes everything harder.

----Weight loss, weight gain, wellbeing, happiness, freedom, love, mobility, blood pressure, HRV, resting heart rate.

When stress controls us, we have no choice but to let it take the wheel.

For some it takes weeks, months or even years to realize how much stress has taken over.

I see this constantly with new clients starting with me, especially since the pandemic, its been a common theme:

"I let stress take over and lost all my will to take care of my body and in return my life fell apart. I became someone I never thought I could become"

Sound familiar?

When this realization happens, we are in a vulnerable state, two things can occur:

1. You feel an insurmountable amount of guilt, shame, and resentment. You try to piece together what went wrong, where, and why?

2. You make a game plan to never let this happen again. You begin to look up ways to become yourself again.

You join a fitness class, begin working with a therapist, or if you are a self-doer

— you research the best wellness strategies, podcasts, and social media accounts that speak to the new, wiser, calmer and smarter you.

In the search, your heart looks for the words that speak to its pains, the ones that will heal and transform you the quickest

But in that process, what a lot of people get wrong isn't the information we have, but the integration of the information we receive.

What may be "scientifically proven to be the BEST method of blah blah blah" might not work for your lifestyle and needs at the moment.

What you need are the basics.

Although it isn't sexy nor fun to work on the basics.

The basics are what set us up for success in the future.

It's what lays the ground work for a time in the future when we are thriving, growing and ready to accept change.

6 weeks ago, I was the MOST stressed out I've ever been.

Handling a break-up, moving, and my entire life, business, and world changed in a second.

I lost weight, my sleep was wack, I was barely eating, and I didn't even have a thought about working out.

So to stick to the bare minimum for me, and gradually add one thing in at a time, are some major wins.

I'm still lost and dealing with the ramifications of a break-up. My business basically closed for a month. I am learning how to do so many things over again. I feel disconnected from my past self, friends, and relationships. And I just don't know how I am going to get through this.

But the worst thing to do is not try.

Onwards to the next 10 weekly newsletters of the Wellness Club.

Thank you for being here 💕
John Kim (they/them)
The Mindful Queer

Weekly Progress Update for my Monthly Coaching Programs

We are in our final week of my Beginner's Foundation Program!

By week 4, the goal is to have a solid foundation of both strength and cardiovascular fitness.

The goal ISN'T to lose 20 lbs, to not gain 5 lbs of muscle - that’s unrealistic

What most clients actually achieve:
- The skill formation of actually moving more
- Improved sleep patterns
- Increase in metabolic burn (calories burned, HRV improvements, RHR decrease)
- Feeling better overall
- More energy throughout the day
- Feelings of accomplishment & commitment
- Ready to continue making progress

If you were ever to work with a coach, the last point makes it all worth it - to continue making progress.

4 weeks will not make meaningful changes to your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing, but it lays the groundwork for more progress and more change.

Just like a 2 week diet will not do anything for you.

Nor will pushing your body to its limits working out intensely a month before vacation.

But do you know what will?

Making incremental changes over 3 months to a year.

So if you are ready for that push - sign up here.

My next group starts April 17th.

This Week's Intention: Confidence

This week we’re talking about how to be confident. Confidence is a key factor when it comes to achieving success, feeling good, and living a life of fulfillment.

Confidence isn't genetic, its made.

How we are confident isn't a cookie cutter formula, rather, it's a vibe that you set for yourself.

So let’s take a look at how to build your self-confidence and live a more positive and powerful life.

1. Believe in yourself: Believe that you can do anything that you put your mind to. Don’t be afraid to take risks and challenge yourself.

2. Set realistic goals: Set goals that are achievable, and make sure you can measure your progress. This will help you stay motivated and build your confidence.

3. Celebrate your successes: Acknowledge your successes, no matter how small. Celebrating your accomplishments is a great way to boost your confidence.

4. Surround yourself with positive people: Positive people can help you stay focused and motivated. Spend time with people who are encouraging and supportive.

5. Take care of yourself: Make sure you’re getting enough sleep and eating healthy. Exercise regularly and get some fresh air. All of these activities will help you feel more confident.

6. Practice positive self-talk: Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Whenever you find yourself thinking something negative, counter it with positive affirmations.

7. Learn to accept failure: Failure is inevitable, and it’s important to learn from it. Acknowledge your mistakes and use them as an opportunity to grow and develop.

I hope these tips help you how to become your most confident & beautiful self. Remember that the best things in life take time, and alot of mistakes on the way.

Tag me in your story @mindfulqueer on instagram with your intentions for the week that promote confidence & self love! Use #WELLNESSCLUB in your post!

Practice of the Week

Practice #9: Explore your values and identities

Pillar:
CONFIDENCE

Skill:
SELF-AWARENESS

Toolbox of Creativity:

- Notice situations where you feel irritated, angry, or upset, and then see if you can identify why — what deeper principles are being violated? (E.g., fairness, courtesy, etc.)

- Explore your values with people who know you well, e.g., What do you think matters to me? How do you see me?

- Consider the people you admire and look up to. What qualities do they have?

- Fill out the Identity, Values, and Goals Chart

- Consider how these impact your choices

Why?

Learn more about what truly matters to you, who you are, and what kind of person you want to become

Our worldviews shape what we believe, want we want, and who we want to become.

When we get rid of the binary logic that tells us what we must like, do, wear, and act, we can then create a path that is our own.

How to Do it Better?

Take a look back at how your identities and values have shifted throughout your lifetime.

Recognize that we will never be perfect - and that's okay.

Find what makes you happy and brings you joy.

Make your list of non-negotiables that make you, YOU

Game Plan for the Week

Choose 1x Daily Practice to follow habitually for the week (or more)

- My Daily Practice this week is:

- How Ready are you (on a scale of 1-10):

- How Willing are you (on a scale of 1-10):

- How Able are you (on a scale of 1-10):

If you score under a 6, make the daily practice easier or less frequent till you get over an avg of 8.

If you score above a 9, and you want to push yourself, try to make that daily practice a tad bit more challenging (only if you are capable of handling that)

If you want to download a copy of my Blueprint Planner - my free 90 day goal planner that allows you to breakdown any goal into daily practices to help change behaviors and smash your goals, click here!

(If you want to try Practice #1: 5 minute Action, to easiest and quickest way to building actionable habits in your life, check it out!)

🫶🏽That wraps up the Wellness Club for this Monday!

Thank you for being a loyal subscriber, and keep an eye out for some new and exciting events coming up just for Wellness Club subscribers!

If you have any questions or feedback, please send a DM or email over!

Good vibes,

John Kim (They/Them)
THE MINDFUL QUEER